SOLDIER Bros
by Mischievious Moogle
Summary: A cute little parody of the Pichu Bros.. Cloud and the gang want to get their hands on these strange pieces of paper. Everyone seems to have one. Just what are they for?
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy 7...

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SOLDIER Bros.:Chp 1

On top of the Shinra building, three smiling Turks stood tall in the middle of the night. The lights of the surrounding buildings made everything glow. Reno proudly held up three red, crescent moon shaped pieces of paper decorated with gold writing.

"It's been a long wait, you guys", Reno announced. "And finally, tonight is the night that all of our dreams will come true!".

The two Turks at his side grinned. Rude and Elena were also looking forward to the event.

The next morning, Aeris ran eagerly around the corner of a building and into the Seventh Heaven bar where everyone usually met in the morning.

"Good morning, everyone! I saw something really, really strange outside", Aeris said quickly.

"What was it?", Zack and Cloud asked in unison.

Everyone looked excitedly at Aeris. Nothing exciting had happened in the past few weeks, so this seemed very interesting.

"Everyone outside is holding these red papers with gold writing all over them. And the papers are shaped like a crescent moon!", chirped Aeris.

Red tilted his head to the side curiously. "Show us", Cait Sith said.

Aeris led the gang outside and true to her word, everyone was holding red crescent moon shaped papers with gold writing on them.

"I want one too!", Yuffie whined.

Zack looked shyly to the ground. "So do I", he mumbled.

"Let's ask someone where to get one", Tifa suggested.

The whole gang walked by the park where Denzel and Marlene were having a mock sword battle with their red papers. When Marlene climbed to the top of the jungle gym, she spotted everyone.

"Hi!", Marlene called out. Barret smiled at her.

"Where did you get those papers?", Yuffie asked.

Denzel looked to Marlene who nodded quickly. "Some blonde haired lady was giving them out near the water fountain. She was nice", Denzel said.

Aeris thanked them and they all ran off to the water fountain, but nobody was there. Tifa pouted and slumped to the ground.

"We'll never get one of those papers", she sobbed.

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A/N: Tell me whatcha think! Please review!


	2. Chapter 2

SOLDIER Bros.: Chp 2

"Look over there!", Zack said, pointing to a warehouse near the park.

"So? It's the old abandoned warehouse. What's wrong?", Cloud asked.

"Oh! I see!", Aeris chirped. "The door's open! And there are boxes inside!".

"Let's check it out", Vincent suggested.

The gang ran over to the warehouse and pressed their backs against the wall. Zack and Cloud peeked inside to see if anyone was there. When they saw that the close was clear, everyone crowded into the building. There were boxes full of streamers and balloons piled around and tables and chairs scattered everywhere. Red sniffed the air and smiled.

"I smell food!", he announced. "This way!".

Red ran around a corner of piled boxes and right into a box of fruits. Apples and peaches spilt out of the box and rolled onto the ground.

"Hey! What do you guys think you're doing?", a voice yelled. Red froze and looked around.

"Who said that?", Zack shouted back.

Two Turks walked into the warehouse and glared angrily at the intruders.

"What are you doing in here?", Rude asked.

"That food is for the guests!", Reno growled. "Get away from it!".

Red and the gang backed up a few steps and looked blankly at the Turks.

"What guests?", Zack asked.

Rude held up one of the red crescent moon shaped papers.

"Do you have one of these?", he asked. The group shook their head.

"Then this food is not for you", Reno said.

"So that paper is an invitation for a party?", Aeris asked. The Turks nodded.

"And you're in our way! Get out!", Reno scolded.

Everyone left the warehouse, frowning.

"I want to go to the party…", Yuffie whined.

"So do we", everyone said in unison.

"But how do we get an invitation?", Zack asked.

Back in the warehouse, Reno was instructing a couple of people where to take the tables they were holding.

"In the corner, over there", he dictated.

Behind him, Rude was happily drumming on a set of new drums and crashing the cymbals. He was enjoying himself. Reno was beginning to feel annoyed with all of this noise.

"Will you cut that out, you bonehead!", Reno shouted, clearly annoyed.

Rude froze and frowned. Rude may have been tough and all, but he was still sensitive to the term "bonehead" and somehow, Reno had forgotten about that. Rude began to look really, really depressed.

'Oops!', Reno thought to himself. 'If Rude is sad, then I won't have a drummer!'.

Reno casually strolled over to Rude. "Hey, buddy", he said. Rude did not look up. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean it, pal. You know that. In fact, I love your drumming! Keep up the good work! Hey, whatever makes you happy, makes me happy, okay?".

Life was restored to Rude as he resumed drumming. Reno's eye twitched each time Rude crashed another cymbal. The truth was, Rude was not that good at playing the drums, but Reno could not get a real drummer on such short notice.

"We may be happy, but my ears are miserable", Reno sighed as he walked off to help with the decorations.

Outside, Cloud and the gang were sitting on a bench in the park, contemplating on how to get an invitation. Just then, the wind blew and one of the invitations flew by.

"There's one!", Yuffie called out, pointing at the beautiful red paper.

The group jumped up and ran after it as fast as they could.


	3. Chapter 3

SOLDIER Bros.: Chp 3

"Get it!", Cid shouted.

Cloud and Zack were ahead of everyone in the pursuit of the invitation. Cait Sith and Nanaki dove for the red paper, but missed and crashed down onto Yuffie and Cid.

"Owies…", Yuffie groaned.

But the chase continued. The wind blew the invitation sharply around the corner of a small public pool. Barret tripped trying to make the sharp turn and took Vincent and Tifa with him. Aeris stopped running and tried to help Barret, Vincent, and Tifa out of the water.

"You guys keep chasing that invitation!", she called out to Cloud and Zack.

"No problem!", Zack yelled back.

Catching this invitation was tougher than they thought. Cloud and Zack jumped up a few times to grab it, but the wind always took it higher. As they turned the corner, they ran into somebody, knocking them down. A big, tough, _strong _somebody.

"Hey, watch where you're going!", Zack roared, holding his nose.

Trembling, Cloud tugged on Zack's sleeve and stared at the person they ran into. Zack tried to wave it off, but Cloud would not let him. Zack reluctantly looked up and went pale. A certain silver-haired general was glaring down at the two boys angrily. Nobody knocked him down and got away with it.

"SEPHIROTH!", they shouted in unison.

Both made a run for it. Sephiroth angrily ran after them with his sword drawn. They ran a few blocks and Zack found a hole in wood fence. He quickly pushed Cloud through and went in after him. Sephiroth tried to go after them, but Zack had placed a heavy block of cement in the way. He growled and ran around the fence.

Zack and Cloud kept running and stopped when they saw a sign with a chocobo on it and some construction equipment nearby.

"I have an idea", Zack said slyly.

Sephiroth, clearly filled with rage, stomped past the sign and froze when he came up to something that looked like a poorly made chocobo dummy. He curiously began poking it with his sword. The dummy backed up a couple of steps and Sephiroth gasped. He stomped down onto the yellow cloth and Zack and Cloud walked out from under it.

"Uh oh", Cloud gasped.

"I have you now!", Sephiroth yelled, raising his sword.

"RUN!", Zack shouted, running as fast as he could.

The chase continued.

"I'm getting tired of running!", Cloud said, panting.

"We can't stop!", Zack cried. "He'll kill us!".

Suddenly, Cloud came up with an idea as they ran past another construction site.

"Follow me!", Cloud said, sprinting into the unfinished building.

Zack hesitantly followed him. Sephiroth followed the two boys into the building. Cloud pulled Zack into an elevator for the construction workers and hit a button. The elevator doors closed and took them to the top floor. Sephiroth, who ran into the elevator doors, was really angry and decided to wait patiently.

On the top floor, Cloud and Zack collapsed onto the ground and stared up at the clouds in the sky. They felt like they ran a few miles and were exhausted. Zack suddenly laughed.

"What is it?", Cloud asked.

"That cloud looks like the a chocobo", Zack giggled, pointing at the sky.

Cloud smiled and looked up. The wind blew again and a piece of paper flew into Cloud's face.

"What the heck!", Cloud exclaimed as he peeled the paper off of his face.

Zack and Cloud gasped. It was an invitation! They happily jumped up and did a small victory dance. It was the invitation they had been chasing and it was finally in their hands. Cloud and Zack cheerfully took the elevator back downstairs and began to walk back to the Seventh Heaven, where they knew everyone was waiting for them. When they turned the corner, they gasped.

"Hello, boys", Sephiroth growled, sword still in hand.

Zack and Cloud ran yet again.

"Doesn't this guy ever give up?", Cloud asked Zack.

"Apparently not!", Zack replied. Cloud came up with another idea.

"Zack! See that fire hydrant up ahead?", he asked.

"Yeah. What about it?", Zack answered.

"When I shout 'split', we split up and run around it, understood?", Cloud asked. Zack nodded.

As they approached the fire hydrant, Cloud shouted 'split!', and they separated. Sephiroth, blinded by his rage, ran into the fire hydrant and was sent soaring into the sky by a rush of water.

"Alright!", Zack and Cloud cheered, giving each other a hi-five.

Sephiroth finally bounced off of something soft and fell onto the ground next to it.

"I'll get those boys", he growled.

Snoring noises came from behind Sephiroth. When he turned around to see what he had fallen next to, it was too late. A napping Palmer rolled over and squashed the poor general like a pancake.

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A/N: I'm baaaaaaaaack! No, I'm not dead, just...busy. Please review and updates will come soon!


	4. Chapter 4

SOLDIER Bros.: Chp 4

Zack and Cloud proudly skipped back to the Seventh Heaven and shown everyone their prize.

"You got it! I'm so happy!", Tifa cheered.

"We knew we could count on you!", Yuffie said.

Suddenly, the doors to the Seventh Heaven were opened and Aeris walked in with a little, crying boy. She was trying to calm him down, but it was no use.

"What's wrong with the kid?", Cid asked.

"He lost his invitation when the wind blew it out of his hands", Aeris answered sadly.

Cloud and Zack looked down at their invitation. Zack nodded and Cloud frowned.

"Is this it?", Zack asked the little boy, holding up the paper.

The little boy grinned widely and took the invitation.

"Th-Thank you!", he said, wiping away his tears with his sleeves.

He happily skipped out of the shop and down the street. Everyone sighed. They were invitation-less once again. Just when things began looking down, a happy Elena walked in.

"What's with the sad faces?", she asked.

"We don't have any invitations to that party practically everyone in town was invited to", Cait Sith sobbed.

Elena held up a big stack of invitations tied to a balloon in her hand.

"Will these take those frowns away?", asked Elena.

"I-Invitations!", Zack said. "But…but…how?".

Elena smiled shyly. "I sorta forgot to give 'em to you guys. Sorry about that", she replied.

Finally, the invitations were theirs for good. As Elena held out her hand to give the balloon to Cloud, her fingers slipped and the balloon floated to the ceiling, out of anyone's reach.

"Oh, my! I'm so sorry!", Elena apologized.

Cloud and Zack looked up at the balloon. It was slowly drifting to a large crack in the ceiling.

"We gotta get that balloon before it goes through that hole!", Zack shouted.

"How? We can't reach it!", Yuffie argued.

Cid reached back to throw his spear at it, but Tifa stopped him. She did not want any more holes in her ceiling, even if it was to get those invitations. One hole in the roof was enough.

"I've got it!", Cloud shouted."Zack, lemme stand on your shoulders!".

Zack kneeled and Cloud climbed onto his shoulders, but they still were not tall enough. The balloon was only a few inches away from the hole in the ceiling. Barret suddenly lifted Zack and Cloud up so that Zack was on his shoulders.

"Run to the right!", Cloud shouted, reaching for the desired invitations. Barret wobbled to the right and tripped over a stool. They all tumbled down onto each other in a cloud of dust. Aeris and Tifa quickly ran up to them.

"Are you guys alright?", Aeris asked quickly. They nodded.

"Oh no! The invitations flew away…", Yuffie cried, pointing up at the empty ceiling.

Cloud shook his head and triumphantly held up the balloon with the papers attached.

"You did it! I knew you could!", Tifa cheered, hugging Cloud tightly.

The invitations were finally theirs.

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A/N: Yay! Special thankies to all of my reviewers! I love you all! Well, next chapter is the last one. Please read and review!


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I do not own FF7!

A/N: Finally! This is the last chapter! Enjoy! Have fun at Reno's party!

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SOLDIER Bros.:Chp 5

"Invitations?", Rude asked.

Everyone proudly held up their red crescent moon shaped invitations and walked into the decorated warehouse. Night finally came and it was time for the party.

"This party better be the best darn party I've ever been to after all I've been through to get these invitations", Cloud said aloud.

The inside had been decorated beautifully. Colorful streamers and balloons were all over the walls and ceiling. Many different tables of food were scattered around the gigantic room and people were happily munching away.

Reno, who had been walking around the warehouse's main room and admiring his team's work, walked into another room and picked up a guitar.

"It's showtime!", he announced to Rude and Elena.

Back in the main room, the everyone was having a great time at the party. Suddenly, a voice boomed over the PA system.

"Attention everyone!", Reno announced. The guests curiously looked up at the speakers that were placed around the room, near the ceiling. "First of all, thank you for coming! I hope you're all having a good time. But now, it's time for the big show called 'Reno's Music Attack'! So, if you'd all kindly step through those big white doors, the show will begin!".

"Alright! A show!", Yuffie cheered.

The guests crowded around the stage that was built in the next room. That room had also been heavily decorated with balloons and streamers. Everyone cheered as Reno, Elena, and Rude took the stage.

"Thank you!", Reno said, taking a bow. "Are you all ready to rock?".

The crowd cheered. Rude went to his drums, Elena picked up a guitar, and Reno took the microphone. The spotlight shown on Reno and he began to sing:

_Bumbling and fumbling  
Screwing up and stumbling  
Looks like the Turks are running off again  
We're always stinking  
It got me to thinking  
And now Reno has got the perfect plan _

I'll throw a party  
Admission will be free  
It'll be a snap  
When they walk right into my trap

It's never been such fun  
Making lots of people run  
Tseng-ie ain't invited  
'Cause I said so (Elena: -sob-)

Once they hit the dance floor  
That's when they're done for  
This is one scheme  
Even we can't blow

_(Elena and Rude)  
Reno Reno Reno  
This party's so exciting  
_

_(Reno)_

_It'll be the biggest bash of the year  
_

_(Elena and Rude)_

_Reno Reno Reno  
Won't you tell us who you're inviting?  
_

_(Reno)_

_Anyone who's anyone is going to be here  
_

_(Elena and Rude)_

_Reno Reno Reno  
Oooh...this party's not for fighting  
_

_(Reno)  
Ice cream for everyone  
There's nothing to fear!_

_(Elena and Rude)  
At Reno's party  
Blast off at the speed of light  
_

_(Reno)_

_For one night only  
No Midgar-ian is lonely  
_

_(Elena and Rude)_

_At Reno's party  
The Turks are not going to fight  
_

_(Reno)_

_So move those feet  
To the sound of the beat  
_

_(Elena and Rude)_

_At Reno's party  
Don't tell the boss  
'Bout tonight  
_

_(Reno)  
I wish this party could go on forever_

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"FIRE!", Reno shouted.

The Turks were on the roof, ready to set off some fireworks. Elena hit the switch, but nothing happened. Reno growled.

"Hey! I paid good money for this!", said Reno angrily.

He walked over to the fireworks and inspected them carefully. Nothing seemed to be wrong. Suddenly, the fireworks went off and took Reno into the sky.

"Aaaaaaaaaack!", screamed Reno. "Somebody save meeeeee!".

Aeris, who was walking home with the group through the building's courtyard, gasped happily and pointed at the sky.

"Look, everyone!", she squealed. "Isn't it pretty?".

The sky was lit with beautiful explosions of various colors in the shapes of stars, circles, squares, etc..

"What's that?", Vincent asked, pointing at a big red dot that was rushing down towards them. Yuffie jumped back and Reno crashed into the ground she was previously standing on.

"Ow…", Reno groaned. "That…hurt…".

The gang laughed and happily walked home together.

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A/N: Aaaaand that's all, folks! I've hope you've all enjoyed this little Pichu Bros. Parody! For anyone who's already seen the Pichu Bros, the cast went like this:

Cloud- Younger Pichu;

Zack- Older Pichu;

Aerith- Smoochum;

Reno- Meowth;

Rude- Cubone/ Squirtle;

Elena- Azumarill/Wobbuffet;

Sephiroth- Houndour;

Palmer- Snorlax;

Denzel- Smeargle;

Marlene- Aipom;

and finally the random kid- Oddish.

Okay! And a special invitation to Reno's next party goes to Becky, Shadedsilence, and Silver chocobo 15! Thankies to you three for your lovely reviews!


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